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The Science Of Getting Over Heartbreak

The Science Of Getting Over Heartbreak

By Danielle Braff
Chicago Tribune
 

Love is an addiction that was biologically designed so that we can mate successfully, said Helen Fisher, a senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute, and New York-based author of “Anatomy of Love” who did a study last year linking love to substance abuse.

Unfortunately, like all addictions, a breakup can send you spiraling out of control.

You can’t eat, you can’t sleep, you have obsessive thoughts about your ex, and you’ll do anything to get him or her back, even if it means calling too many times or driving past your ex’s house at all hours of the day. And as soon as you get a response, you swing into euphoria — unless the response is negative, which can whip you back into despair.

“One main region of the brain (referred to as the brain’s reward system) is linked with all addictions — gambling, sex and all of the substance addictions: alcohol, nicotine, heroin and the others,” Fisher said. “That same region of the brain is activated when you’re rejected in love. That’s the biology of it.”

But unlike alcohol or gambling, which a fraction of people are addicted to, we’re all predisposed to love addiction, Fisher said.

“It’s a drive, a basic mating drive,” she said. “It evolved to help us rear our children as a team.”

Unfortunately, when this basic mating drive veers off track via an unwanted breakup for one person, it becomes a physical and emotional pain that you’ll have to deal with sans the help of an AA meeting or a rehab clinic.

But science has found ways to help with breakups. There are things you can do to make the pain go away faster, and there are things you might be doing that make your heartbreak worse.

You might find yourself journaling post-breakup, for instance, but while this seems like a therapeutic way to get all those thoughts out, it could make your heartbreak linger if you’re the type to brood or to ruminate.

Researchers at the University of Arizona found that those who looked for meaning in their relationships by writing in their journals made the least progress with their emotions — especially if they tend to seek a deeper meaning in their breakups. That’s because they continued the saga of their failed relationship through their journal, prolonging their suffering instead of moving on, said David Sbarra, psychology professor at the University of Arizona and author of the 2013 study.

If you do feel a need to journal, however, you should just write about your day. Those in the study who did not mention their breakup did well, Sbarra said. It helped them get back into their normal routine without focusing on their losses.

Talking about the breakup with someone other than your ex from a distanced, calm, rational perspective will also speed recovery, said Grace Larson, who authored a 2015 study on the topic.

“It helps you understand who you are outside of the ex-relationship,” Larson said. They end up using fewer “us” words when they spoke about the relationship, and used more “I” and “me” words.

But the talking shouldn’t go on for weeks, Fisher said.

After you’ve said everything you need to say, it’s time to stop mentioning your ex to anyone, she said.

Since love is an addiction, Fisher recommends using the AA method and treating an ex like something that is to be forbidden at all costs.

“Don’t write, don’t call, don’t show up at various places, don’t ask friends what he’s doing, don’t check him out on Facebook,” she said. “If you’re going to get rid of alcohol, don’t keep a bottle on your desk.”

It’ll be painful, but eventually, you’ll get over your ex. In her studies, Fisher said, they looked at the brain scans of people who were rejected mere weeks ago and those who were rejected months ago — and the brain activity declined as the separation increased, despite the memory of the event remaining strong. That means, she said, that the pain will decrease over time, though no one can definitively say how long it takes, as it varies from person to person depending on the length of the relationship and the flexibility of their emotions.

If all else fails, there’s an app to help.

Los Angeles-based Ellen Huerta founded Mend (starts at $4.99) when she was going through a bad breakup.

“I wanted a personal trainer to help me through a breakup,” Huerta said. Failing that, she wanted something or someone by her side every step of the way.

For the first 28 days of the breakup, Mend offers a heartbreak cleanse, which focuses on your body to help with the withdrawal symptoms, Huerta said.

Each day, it will advise you on how to self-soothe, to focus on your breath. In addition, you can check in and write in the app’s journal.

After you get through the first month, you graduate to the next step in Mend, which focuses less on the breakup and more on rebuilding your sense of self and your future.

“We do trainings about being single and dating and having a healthy relationship practice,” said Huerta, who said she managed to get over her heartache while she was developing her app.

And while she won’t reveal the number of subscribers, she said there are Mend users in more than 150 countries.

“Heartbreak is so universal,” Huerta said.

Mental Health Awareness Month

Mental Health Awareness Month

Mental Health Month

Since 1949, Mental Health America and our affiliates across the country have led the observance of May is Mental Health Month by reaching millions of people through the media, local events and screenings. We welcome other organizations to join us in spreading the word that mental health is something everyone should care about by using the May is Mental Health Month toolkit materials and conducting awareness activities.

May is Mental Health Month 2018

When we talk about health, we can’t just focus on heart health, or liver health, or brain health, and not whole health. You have to see the whole person, and make use of the tools and resources that benefit minds and bodies together. That’s why this year, our May is Mental Health Month theme is Fitness #4Mind4Body. We’ll focus on what we as individuals can do to be fit for our own futures – no matter where we happen to be on our own personal journeys to health and wellness – and, most especially, before Stage 4.

Learn more about:

As part of our efforts this May, we’re asking you to take the #4Mind4Body Challenge and join Mental Health America as we challenge ourselves each day to make small changes – both physically and mentally – to create huge gains for our overall health and wellbeing. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, or visit mentalhealthamerica.net/challenge for the challenge of the day and share your progress and successes by posting with #4Mind4Body.

Prepare yourself to make changes for a healthier lifestyle by using our Change is Hard worksheets.

Visit mentalhealthamerica.net/4mind4body to see what others are doing as part of the challenge!

The Toolkit

In this year’s toolkit, you will find a range of materials, including:

  • Fact sheets on how mental health is affected by diet and nutrition, sleep, stress, gut health, and exercise;
  • Worksheets on making life changes;
  • A promotional poster, sample social media posts with images, and web banners;
  • A sample press release and a drop-In article; and a sample proclamation for public officials to recognize May as Mental Health Month and the work of local mental health advocates.

Fill out the brief online form to gain access to the toolkit.

Interested in learning more about the brain-body connection? Sign up for MHA’s 2018 Annual Conference, Fit for the Future.

Why Men Oppress Women

Why Men Oppress Women

The psychology of male domination

Steve Taylor Ph.D.

Out of the Darkness

Even if they belonged to higher social classes, most women throughout history have been enslaved by men. Until recent times, women throughout Europe, Middle East and Asia were unable to have any influence over the political, r eligiousor cultural lives of their societies. They couldn’t own property or inherit land and wealth, and were frequently treated as mere property themselves. In some countries they could be confiscated by money lenders or tax collectors to help settle debts; in ancient Assyria, the punishment for rape was the handing over of the rapist’s wife to the husband of his victim, to use as he desired. Most gruesomely of all, some cultures practised what anthropologists have called ritual widow murder (or ritual widow suicide), when women would be killed (or kill themselves) shortly after the deaths of their husbands. This was common throughout India and China until the twentieth century, and there are still occasional cases nowadays.

Even in the so-called ‘enlightened’ society of ancient Greece — where the concept of democracy supposedly originated — women had no property or political rights, and were forbidden to leave their homes after dark. Similarly, in ancient Rome women unable to take part in social events (except as employed ‘escort girls’) and were only allowed to leave their homes with their husband or a male relative.

In Europe and America (and some other countries) the status of women has risen significantly over the last few decades, but in many parts of the world male domination and oppression continues. In some Middle Eastern countries, for example, women effectively live as prisoners, unable to leave the house except under the guardianship of a male guardian. They have no role at all in determining their own lives; they are seen as nothing more than a commodity, property of the males of the family, and as owners, the men have the right to make decisions for them. Their male owners have the right to have sex with them on demand too. In Egypt, surveys have shown that the vast majority of men and women believe it is acceptable for a man to beat his wife if she refuses sex.

There have been attempts to explain the oppression of women in biological terms. For example, the sociologist Stephen Goldberg suggested that men are naturally more competitive than women because of their high level of testosterone. This makes them aggressive and power-hungry, so that they inevitably take over the high status positions in a society, leaving women to the more subordinate roles.

However, in my view the maltreatment of women has more deep-rooted psychological causes. In my book The Fall(link is external), I suggest that most human beings suffer from an underlying psychological disorder, which I call ‘humania.’ The oppression of women is a symptom of this disorder. It’s one thing to take over the positions of power in a society, but another to seemingly despise women, and inflict so much brutality and degradation on them. What sane species would treat half of its members — and the very half which gives birth to the whole species — with such contempt and injustice? Despite their high level of testosterone, the men of many ancient and indigenous cultures revered women for their life-giving and nurturing role, so why don’t we?

The oppression of women stems largely from men’s desire for power and control. The same need which, throughout history, has driven men to try to conquer and subjugate other groups or nations, and to oppress other classes or groups in their own society, drives them to dominate and oppress women. Since men feel the need to gain as much power and control as they can, they steal away power and control from women. They deny women the right to make decisions so that they can make them for them, leave women unable to direct their own lives so that they can direct their lives for them. Ultimately, they’re trying to increase their sense of significance and status, in an effort to offset the discontent and sense of lack created by humania.

But even this isn’t enough to explain the full terrible saga of man’s inhumanity to woman. Many cultures have had a strong antagonism towards women, viewing them as impure and innately sinful creatures who have been sent by the devil to lead men astray. This view was at the heart of the European witch-killing mania of the 15th to 18th centuries, and has featured strongly in all three Abrahamic religions. As the Jewish Testament of Reuben states:

Women are evil, my children…they use wiles and try to ensnare [man] by their charms…They lay plots in their hearts against men: by the way they adorn themselves they first lead their minds astray, and by a look they instil the poison, and then in the act itself they take them captive…So shun fornication, my children and command your wives and daughters not to adorn their heads and faces.

This is linked to the view — encouraged by religions — that instincts and sensual desires are base and sinful. Men associated themselves with the “purity” of the mind, and women with the “corruption” of the body. Since biological processes like sex, menstruation, breast-feeding and even pregnancy were disgusting, women themselves disgusted them too.

In connection with this, perhaps men have resented the sexual power that women have over them too. Feeling that sex was sinful, they were bound to feel animosity to the women who produced their sexual desires. In addition, women’s sexual power must have affronted their need for control. This meant that they couldn’t have the complete domination over women — and over their own bodies — that they craved. They might be able to force women to cover their bodies and faces and make them live like slaves, but any woman was capable of arousing powerful and uncontrollable sexual impulses inside them at any moment. The last 6000 years of man’s inhumanity to woman can partly be seen as a revenge for this.

We can only be thankful that, in some parts of the world at least, this antagonism — and the oppression that it leads to — has begun to fade away.

Steve Taylor is a lecturer in psychology at Leeds Metropolitan University, UK. He is the author of The Fall(link is external) (from which these piece was extracted) and Back to Sanity: Healing the Madness of the Human Mind(link is external)www.(link is external)stevenmtaylor.co(link is external)m

10 Ways To Fix A Bad Relationship

10 Ways To Fix A Bad Relationship

How would you rate your relationship on a scale of 1-10? If you answered “5” or less, you are in a bad relationship that needs some fixing.

BY

BORED?

Would you describe your life with your significant other as a routine? Nothing is more boring than monotony. Here’s five easy ways to give your relationship a little OOMPH! 

1. Make time for each other.

Absence is rumored to make the heart grow fonder, but that doesn’t mean your relationship can thrive without any time devoted to it.  Life gets busy, especially if you have kids/school/a job/a second job and OMG, ALL THE THINGS; but your relationship is a priority no matter how full your plate may be. Have a daily, 10-minute mini-date where you snuggle up with a silly YouTube video, take a quick walk, have some ice cream, or whatever you both enjoy.

2. Switch up date-night.

Dinner-and-a-movie is a staple for a reason (because it’s fun), but it can grow stale without the occasional mix-up. For example: You could grab coffee or hot cocoa, go to a park on a breezy day and find yourself with a perfect excuse to cuddle.

3. Take an adventure.

Do something exciting together! You could take a cruise, go on a road-trip, jump out of a plane, visit a rain forest, or climb Mt. Everest.

4. Learn something new.

Tackle a hobby of mutual interest with your partner. Whether you want to learn to speak Italian, become a Jeopardy contestant or create handmade jewelry is up to you. Challenging yourselves to grow will strengthen your bond and shake-up your ho-hum love life.

5. Create a Bucket List.

Make a list of all the crazy, ambitious, and wonderful things you want to do with your partner. Be happy you have someone to share your life with. Take small steps to make your Bucket List items happen.

ANGRY?

There is no reason to bottle up our feelings in relationships. I know you might be intimidated by conflict, but there is no hiding from it. Sure, you could just keep saying “nothing is wrong,” but that would only delay the inevitable. Feelings that are held in have a way of intensifying. Pissed off? Take a deep breath and let’s deal with it:

6. Count to 10.

If you find word vomit escaping your lips, one of those hurtful things you know you’re going to regret saying later, hold it in and count to ten. Breathe in. Breathe out. Still want to say it? Go for it. Not so much? Crisis averted.

7. See it from the other side.

“It was a great surprise to me when I discovered that most of the ugliness I saw in others, was but a reflection of my own nature.” -Anonymous

Before you criticize another person, take a second to look at the scenario from their perspective. Most people act the way they do for a reason. See yourself in their eyes to make sure the problem doesn’t reside in yourself.

8. Give and receive.

Did you get a wonderful back rub after a rough day at the office? Return the favor (or surprise your partner with a tasty dessert or coffee at work). A perceived imbalance in who puts the most into your relationship can make a person upset in a hurry. Split chores and housework fairly, take turns deciding what to have for dinner, and aim for equality in your relationship.

9. Express yourself with no filter.

You can’t expect your partner to know something is wrong if you don’t tell them. Express your feelings without filter (especially if you’re being asked “What’s wrong?” repeatedly). Confrontation isn’t fun but it’s also unavoidable. Dragging out a fight is just going to place unnecessary strain on your relationship, so get it over with and express yourself.

10. Appreciate each other.

What do you find sexy or handsome about your partner? Do they have any quirks you find wonderful? What is the sweetest thing they ever did for you? Sometimes, we’re so busy focusing on our partner’s negative traits that we forget to appreciate what we have and what made us fall in love with them in the first place.

Is There Life After Menopause?

Is There Life After Menopause?

By

Well, it might not feel like it when you’re in the middle of perimenopause, but the answer is yes. Yes, there is life after menopause – and it’s not so bad.

A reader shared with me recently the grief and emotional struggles she is experiencing as she comes to terms with the fact that she is no longer (at least in her mind) an attractive, desirable woman, since she began to go through perimenopause.

Having walked that road, I know exactly how she feels, and the kinds of questions she is likely asking herself about this profound, mid-life transition called menopause. I mean, let’s face it. You’ve spent 40-something years defining and cultivating a life and personal identity, only to have it obliterated all to hell and back by hot flashes, mood swings, and night sweats.

And that’s just the short list.

But life transitions aren’t easy for anybody. I have a 22 year old son who often laments the loss of his carefree childhood as he is now dealing with grown-up realities like expensive car repairs, health insurance costs, college loan debt, and just the day-to-day, non-sexy, no-fun decisions, grown-ups have to make every day of their life.

I don’t have the heart to tell him that just when he gets this part of his life figured out, it changes all over again.

I think what makes the menopause transition so difficult for women is that we are beginning to face the reality of our own mortality. Sure, we talk about our sagging breasts, our lagging libido, and feeling so oldwhen we start going through perimenopause and menopause. But, what we really mean, is that we realize we are closer to death and dying than we’ve ever been before – and it’s scary. It’s sobering. It’s existential.

But, there’s a funny thing about facing death and dying. It makes you realize how much you should live.

Perhaps that is why many women become so fierce once they reach menopause. They realize without equivocation that the number of years they have left on this earth are ticking down fast, and if they don’t get on with living them they are gone.

The thing I personally love about menopause is that it forces your hand. There’s no place to run, no place to hide. You’re past middle-age and you’re facing down death whether you like it or not. It’s crunch time. Yes, it’s uncomfortable and difficult. Sometimes it’s damn well excruciating. But it’s a crossroad of life, and you get to choose the road you’re going to walk.

I don’t know about you, but I find that rather empowering. I can’t control the fact that I’m dying. But I can control how I live. I don’t have to “go gentle into that good night”  so I won’t. I don’t know that I want to“rage, rage, against the dying of the light” either. I had enough of raging and mood swings during perimenopause, thank you very much.

I would much rather just “live like I am dying.” Because we all are, menopause sisters. We all are.

Magnolia Miller is a certified healthcare consumer advocate in women’s health and a women’s freelance health writer and blogger at The Perimenopause Blog.

10 Psychological Studies That Will Change What You Think You Know About Yourself

10 Psychological Studies That Will Change What You Think You Know About Yourself

Why do we do the things we do? Despite our best attempts to “know thyself,” the truth is that we often know astonishingly little about our own minds, and even less about the way others think. As Charles Dickens once put it, “A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other.”

Psychologists have long sought insights into how we perceive the world and what motivates our behavior, and they’ve made enormous strides in lifting that veil of mystery. Aside from providing fodder for stimulating cocktail-party conversations, some of the most famous psychological experiments of the past century reveal universal and often surprising truths about human nature. Here are 10 classic psychological studies that may change the way you understand yourself.

We all have some capacity for evil.

Arguably the most famous experiment in the history of psychology, the 1971 Stanford prison study put a microscope on how social situations can affect human behavior. The researchers, led by psychologist Philip Zimbardo, set up a mock prison in the basement of the Stanford psych building and selected 24 undergraduates (who had no criminal record and were deemed psychologically healthy) to act as prisoners and guards. Researchers then observed the prisoners (who had to stay in the cells 24 hours a day) and guards (who shared eight-hour shifts) using hidden cameras.

Long time

The experiment, which was scheduled to last for two weeks, had to be cut short after just six days due to the guards’ abusive behavior — in some cases they even inflicted psychological torture — and the extreme emotional stress and anxiety exhibited by the prisoners.

“The guards escalated their aggression against the prisoners, stripping them naked, putting bags over their heads, and then finally had them engage in increasingly humiliating sexual activities,” Zimbardo told American Scientist. “After six days I had to end it because it was out of control — I couldn’t really go to sleep at night without worrying what the guards could do to the prisoners.”

We don’t notice what’s right in front of us.

Think you know what’s going on around you? You might not be nearly as aware as you think. In 1998, researchers from Harvard and Kent State University targeted pedestrians on a college campus to determine how much people notice about their immediate environments. In the experiment, an actor came up to a pedestrian and asked for directions. While the pedestrian was giving the directions, two men carrying a large wooden door walked between the actor and the pedestrian, completely blocking their view of each other for several seconds. During that time, the actor was replaced by another actor, one of a different height and build, and with a different outfit, haircut and voice. A full half of the participants didn’t notice the substitution.

The experiment was one of the first to illustrate the phenomenon of “change blindness,” which shows just how selective we are about what we take in from any given visual scene — and it seems that we rely on memory and pattern-recognition significantly more than we might think.

Delaying gratification is hard — but we’re more successful when we do.

child marshmallows

A famous Stanford experiment from the late 1960s tested preschool children’s ability to resist the lure of instant gratification — and it yielded some powerful insights about willpower and self-discipline. In the experiment, four-year-olds were put in a room by themselves with a marshmallow on a plate in front of them, and told that they could either eat the treat now, or if they waited until the researcher returned 15 minutes later, they could have two marshmallows.

While most of the children said they’d wait, they often struggled to resist and then gave in, eating the treat before the researcher returned, TIME reports. The children who did manage to hold off for the full 15 minutes generally used avoidance tactics, like turning away or covering their eyes. The implications of the children’s behavior were significant: Those who were able to delay gratification were much less likely to be obese, or to have drug addiction or behavioral problems by the time they were teenagers, and were more successful later in life.

We can experience deeply conflicting moral impulses.

A famous 1961 study by Yale psychologist Stanley Milgram tested (rather alarmingly) how far people would go to obey authority figures when asked to harm others, and the intense internal conflict between personal morals and the obligation to obey authority figures.

Milgram wanted to conduct the experiment to provide insight into how Nazi war criminals could have perpetuated unspeakable acts during the Holocaust. To do so, he tested a pair of participants, one deemed the “teacher” and the other deemed the “learner.” The teacher was instructed to administer electric shocks to the learner (who was supposedly sitting in another room, but in reality was not being shocked) each time they got questions wrong. Milgram instead played recordings which made it sound like the learner was in pain, and if the “teacher” subject expressed a desire to stop, the experimenter prodded him to go on. During the first experiment, 65 percent of participants administered a painful, final 450-volt shock (labeled “XXX”), although many were visibly stressed and uncomfortable about doing so.

While the study has commonly been seen as a warning of blind obedience to authority, Scientific American recently revisited it, arguing that the results were more suggestive of deep moral conflict.

“Human moral nature includes a propensity to be empathetic, kind and good to our fellow kin and group members, plus an inclination to be xenophobic, cruel and evil to tribal others,” journalist Michael Shermer wrote. “The shock experiments reveal not blind obedience but conflicting moral tendencies that lie deep within.”

Recently, some commenters have called Milgram’s methodology into question, and one critic noted that records of the experiment performed at Yale suggested that 60 percent of participants actually disobeyed orders to administer the highest-dosage shock.

We’re easily corrupted by power.

o-plate-of-cookies-570

There’s a psychological reason behind the fact that those in power sometimes act towards others with a sense of entitlement and disrespect. A 2003 study published in the journal Psychological Review put students into groups of three to write a short paper together. Two students were instructed to write the paper, while the other was told to evaluate the paper and determine how much each student would be paid. In the middle of their work, a researcher brought in a plate of five cookies. Although generally the last cookie was never eaten, the “boss” almost always ate the fourth cookie — and ate it sloppily, mouth open.

“When researchers give people power in scientific experiments, they are more likely to physically touch others in potentially inappropriate ways, to flirt in more direct fashion, to make risky choices and gambles, to make first offers in negotiations, to speak their mind, and to eat cookies like the Cookie Monster, with crumbs all over their chins and chests,” psychologist Dacher Keltner, one of the study’s leaders, wrote in an article for UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center.

We seek out loyalty to social groups and are easily drawn to intergroup conflict.

On Three

This classic 1950s social psychology experiment shined a light on the possible psychological basis of why social groups and countries find themselves embroiled in conflict with one another — and how they can learn to cooperate again.

Study leader Muzafer Sherif took two groups of 11 boys (all age 11) to Robbers Cave State Park in Oklahoma for “summer camp.” The groups (named the “Eagles” and the “Rattlers”) spent a week apart, having fun together and bonding, with no knowledge of the existence of the other group. When the two groups finally integrated, the boys started calling each other names, and when they started competing in various games, more conflict ensued and eventually the groups refused to eat together. In the next phase of the research, Sherif designed experiments to try to reconcile the boys by having them enjoy leisure activities together (which was unsuccessful) and then having them solve a problem together, which finally began to ease the conflict.

We only need one thing to be happy.

The 75-year Harvard Grant study —one of the most comprehensive longitudinal studies ever conducted — followed 268 male Harvard undergraduates from the classes of 1938-1940 (now well into their 90s) for 75 years, regularly collecting data on various aspects of their lives. The universal conclusion? Love really is all that matters, at least when it comes to determining long-term happiness and life satisfaction.

The study’s longtime director, psychiatrist George Vaillant, told The Huffington Postthat there are two pillars of happiness: “One is love. The other is finding a way of coping with life that does not push love away.” For example, one participant began the study with the lowest rating for future stability of all the subjects and he had previously attempted suicide. But at the end of his life, he was one of the happiest. Why? As Vaillant explains, “He spent his life searching for love.”

We thrive when we have strong self-esteem and social status.

o-oscar-statue-570

Achieving fame and success isn’t just an ego boost — it could also be a key to longevity, according to the notorious Oscar winners study. Researchers from Toronto’s Sunnybrook and Women’s College Health Sciences Centre found that Academy Award-winning actors and directors tend to live longer than those who were nominated but lost, with winning actors and actresses outliving their losing peers by nearly four years.

“We are not saying that you will live longer if you win an Academy Award,” Donald Redelmeier, the lead author of the study, told ABC News. “Or that people should go out and take acting courses. Our main conclusion is simply that social factors are important … It suggests that an internal sense of self-esteem is an important aspect to health and health care.”

We constantly try to justify our experiences so that they make sense to us.

Anyone who’s taken a freshman Psych 101 class is familiar with cognitive dissonance, a theory which dictates that human beings have a natural propensity to avoid psychological conflict based on disharmonious or mutually exclusive beliefs. In an often-cited 1959 experiment, psychologist Leon Festinger asked participants to perform a series of dull tasks, like turning pegs in a wooden knob, for an hour. They were then paid either $1 or $20 to tell a “waiting participant” (aka a researcher) that the task was very interesting. Those who were paid $1 to lie rated the tasks as more enjoyable than those who were paid $20. Their conclusion? Those who were paid more felt that they had sufficient justification for having performed the rote task for an hour, but those who were only paid $1 felt the need to justify the time spent (and reduce the level of dissonance between their beliefs and their behavior) by saying that the activity was fun. In other words, we commonly tell ourselves lies to make the world appear a more logical, harmonious place.

We buy into stereotypes in a big way.

o-old-woman-shutterstock-570

Stereotyping various groups of people based on social group, ethnicity or class is something nearly all of us do, even if we make an effort not to — and it can lead us to draw unfair and potentially damaging conclusions about entire populations. NYU psychologist John Bargh’s experiments on “automaticity of social behavior”revealed that we often judge people based on unconscious stereotypes — and we can’t help but act on them. We also tend to buy into stereotypes for social groups that we see ourselves being a part of. In one study, Bargh found that a group of participants who were asked to unscramble words related to old age — “Florida,” “helpless” and “wrinkled” — walked significantly slower down the hallway after the experiment than the group who unscrambled words unrelated to age. Bargh repeated the findings in two other comparable studies that enforced stereotypes based on race and politeness.

“Stereotypes are categories that have gone too far,” Bargh told Psychology Today. “When we use stereotypes, we take in the gender, the age, the color of the skin of the person before us, and our minds respond with messages that say hostile, stupid, slow, weak. Those qualities aren’t out there in the environment. They don’t reflect reality.”

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/18/20-psychological-studies-_n_4098779.html 

 

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