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Jan K Testimonial

UnknownI first started seeing Counsellor Susan Culver in 2009 at my GP Practice in London. At the time I was in a difficult relationship with another Sue, whom we shall call Sue P. Sue P was very insecure and as a consequence was, in my opinion, very controlling. At this time I was beginning to develop strong symptoms of OCD. This would manifest itself with two specific fears – firstly, I feared that if I was not able to contact someone I cared for, then there must be something dreadfully wrong. Secondly, I began to develop concerns regarding my own physical health. These fears had no real clinical foundation. Sue P and I split up in 2010. I was prescribed citalopram in 2009 and this worked well. I stopped taking this in 2010 , as I began to feel well. After this, all was well until my sister developed pre cancer and then cancer in 2011 and 2012. At this point “irrational” fears about my health began to escalate. In 2011 this became particularly testing and in November 2011 I had to take a month off work and retired to my bed. This really helped. At the same time I met a Private GP (MD) who began to provide real support in terms of my OCD. The British NHS had shown itself to be singularly incapable of dealing with my mental issues.
In early 2011 I began a relationship with Louise. She too proved to be difficult for me. We held strongly different political views and again she was insecure. At the end of 2011 Louise and I ended our relationship. In January 2012 I started to meet with an old girlfriend, Clare. None of these three relationships was successful. The common characteristic in each was a sense of insecurity in the other party driven partly by my unwillingness to commit. Susan (counsellor) helped me to realise that this fear of emotional commitment was driven by my mother’s smothering attitude to me in my early life – which I now found repellent. Dealing with this and the emotional complexities that it resurrected was pivotal to my recovery.
In 2013 I began taking escitalopram, despite the resistance of the Public Health Service in the UK. Again, my Private GP came to the rescue. This drug, my GP and Susan have brought me to a place where I now feel comfortable and confident.

Gender Equality

With regard to Susan’s current endeavour on gender equality, I have to say that my initial reaction was not unequivocally positive. I believe that feminism has developed in a pernicious way in western society and now plays on feelings of victimhood, whether justified or not, and false entitlement. That said, I am entirely in favour of any society where reward is based on merit and without quotas, “affirmative” action or tokenism. To this end I believe that people should be judged not by gender, race or sexuality. However, this works both ways, and there is a fine line between justifiable grievance and the adoption of the “politics of entitlement”. I am sure that Susan’s work in this area will help to foster a true sense of equity in both domestic and working relationships.

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